The Most Famous Bands that Never Existed
As one of the newbies to the ATWN blog (waves meekly), I decided to not clutter the post with cute cat gifs… but next time. Oh yes, next time.
Today, however, I thought I’d start off with something I’m relatively used to — talking about bands that don’t exist. Bands in books, in movies, in television sit-coms… there have been some pretty fantastic ones. Ones with superpowers and lemonade mouths and vampires. They are the bands we wish were real, because while you love Shakin’ it Off to Taylor Swift and reliving your emo days with Green Day’s American Idiot broadway musical… there is always that one band in the back of your mind that you wish you owned the discography to. Whether it’s a band from your childhood or the latest YA novel… that’s totally up to you.
But here’s my top five — and I think we can all agree the music industry would be ten times cooler with them!
1. The Weird Sisters – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Seriously, y’all. As part of the generation who grew up with Harry, this is a must-have on the list. Just picture it: bagpipes! Wizards! (And um, hello, in the movie they were played by actual band members from Pulp and Radiohead.) So yeah, you’ll find me moshing at that concert.
2. The Blues Brothers – The Blues Brothers
Okay, okay, before you get on my case about how the Blues Brothers are totally not book related… they are one of the most famous bands that never existed. And they rock. And, I’m pretty sure cool suave YA hipsters would not have their coolness without their Ray Bans, which these guys totally rocked first. Just sayin’.
3. Where’s Fluffy – Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist | Shooting Star/Williamette Stone – If I Stay
Let’s face it, YA has a plethora of fake bands that have made an impression on our lovestruck hearts, but none more so than the elusive band in David Leviathan and Rachel Cohn’s novel, and in Gayle Forman’s tear-jerking weepfest. In both of these books, we learn that sometimes music will surprise you, and sometimes if the right notes catch your ears, you’re right where you need to be.
4. Sailor Starlights – Sailor Moon
I am a 90s kid at heart, and as a 90s kid I was obsessed with everything “Moon Prism Power!” All my homies can agree that the first real rockstars we ever wanted to meet were the ones who not only had voices like (male) angels, but also rocked skirts, too. They taught me that gender lines are blurred at best, and that it doesn’t matter who you are — as long as you are true to yourself and follow your heart.
5. Stillwater – Almost Famous
One of the best scripts I’ve ever read (and one of the best performances by Kate Hudson I’ve ever seen), Almost Famous steals your heart. It tackles growing up with a raw, real sound. I love it because it doesn’t focus on the music — the music is a sideline. It focuses on the band. On the connections. On the ties that both sew a band and its groupies together, and tears them apart. And I think it is a testament to the film, and to the band, that the most famous scene isn’t with one of their songs, but a sing-along with an Elton John one. And the movie, the band, the songs — they all remind you that wherever you are, as long as you are where you want to be, you are home.
Honorable Mentions: Jem and the Holograms (Jem), The Bad Omens (Scooby Doo and the Legend of the Vampire), Arsenal aka Stacee Jaxx (Rock of Ages)